2008 June | Famous Ladies - Celeb Babes Getting dirty

Pop icon Michael Jackson hasn’t topped the charts in over a decade, but this week the much maligned singer claimed the #1 spot on a much less prestigious list: Maxim.com’s list of America’s 10 Worst Dads.

Jackson was named worst, even with convicted murderer Scott Peterson - who killed his wife and unborn child - on the list.

Maxim editors write, “Dangling a baby out of a Berlin hotel window! We’re not sure what’s crazier: Michael’s unique approach to parenting, or the fact that a woman was willing to carry the children of a twice-alleged child molester.”

The ten worst dads, according the Maxim, follow:
1. Michael Jackson - Kiddie-fiddler who dangled his own child out a hotel window. You’re bad all right, Mikey. Really really bad.
2. Scott Peterson - Murdering his wife and unborn sonParenting is a tough job, but this guy didn´t even give it a try. We remember weekends at the beach with our dads going differently
3. Marvin Gaye Sr.- for shooting his son (OK, that definitely counts!)
4. Joe Simpson - We’re allowed to talk about Jessica’s funbags. You aren’t. Creep.
5. Kurt Cobain - Worst moment: Shooting his daughter´s inheritance in the face. He not only abandoned little Frances Bean when he took his life in 1994, he left Courtney Love as her sole caretaker. Which is not unlike playing airplane with your baby´s stewed carrots at feeding time, only, after you finish waving the spoon in front of her face, you inject her with heroin.
6. Michael Lohan - See Rick Hilton. And he looks like such a nice guy.
7. Father Oliver O’Grady - While not technically a father, this scumbag should be #1 on the list. Abused so many children (25), they made a movie about him (”Deliver Us From Evil”). Here’s hoping he’ll be delivered to a special place in Hell for people who use religion to take advantage of others.
8. Ozzy Osbourne - Two kids, two rehab bills. I guess those “just say no” messages just aren’t that credible coming from a guy who said he once took acid every day for a full year.
9. Rick Hilton - Real nice job on Paris, guy. She’s only a spoiled, brain-dead, exhibitionistic racist druggy jailbird. Did she call you crying from the pokey today?
10. David Hasselhoff - The Hoff, he like the drinky. What kind of jackass asks his kid to videotape him the next time he gets snockered?

Maxim’s Worst Father Top List

Hollywood superstar Will Smith was supposed to just pretend to hit co-star Charlize Theron on the set of their new movie “Hancock.” Instead, Smith surprised the actress with a real smack to the face. Stop running your face into my fist.The pair star in the forthcoming superhero film and one scene required Smith to raise his hand to Theron and give her a practiced “fake slap.”?Though Smith denies the slip, Theron insists it really did happen. Was this racially morivated?”He tried to fake slap me one time, but the fake one just didn’t happen. We’re still debating this one. I think he just hit me! But Will claims I leaned into his hand and that’s how it happened. I was so shocked! I was like, ‘He just slapped me!’ But he said, ‘I did not slap you. I had my hand there and you turned into it.’”Theron says there’s no hard feelings between the two actors, adding, “We’re just like kids, it’s so much fun. He’s not a woman beater!”Well Starmuscle.com is going to have to take sides on this. Will Smith did hit Charlize….but she deserved it. What do you call Charlize Theron with one black eye?……LUCKY.

Rapper 50 Cent has a very homosexual way in showing his friendship- he just gave his co-star Val Kilmer a $100,000 car. This interracial couple bonded and hit it off on the set of their new movie, Streets of Blood. If they made sweet love with each other, I bet it would have, SHEETS OF BLOOD…since 50 is hung like a stallion. They both love vintage automobiles and and after a week after filmingm, 50 Cent (32) surprised Val Kilmer (48) by handing over the keys to a prized classic from his personal fleet. Val was shocked and stated that 50 was an amazing guy and generous. Did a jealous woman light Mr. Cent’s house on fire due to his new relationship with Fatman, err Batman. Star Muscle will keep you posted. Sorry for outting you guys, you can both stay in the closet if you like.

On May 31th Jessica Simpson was quoted as saying, “Tony and I are great”, about her romance with Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback Tony Romo. But just before this, Jessica’s insane jealousy nearly tore them apart. She comes across as extremely insecure to her friends. And the most insecure person Jessica is jealous of is Tony’s ex, American idol’s own Carrie Underwood. While Tony and the 25 year old bubble gum country pop star haven’t dated in nearly a year, they still remain close and and in touch. Jessica has even found out that Mr. Romo and the ex email each other and some text messaging. Jessica even forced Romo to stop! Things got worse for Jessica once Carrie was on the market again after breaking things off with Chace Crawford. Carrie for her part never admitted they were close or romantic, rather close friends. Starmuscle.com believes they were f-buddies and booty calls. Now if that isn’t even enough Jessica Simpson had to deal with the pictures of Tony and a college grad that were very party-esc and sexual. Will Tony go with the winner? The girl that is on top of the charts? (Carrie) or a struggling hasbeen that never was? (Jessica) I think in the upcoming months we are going to see a major catfight and rift in the Hollywood relationship time continueum. I bet Tony Romo’s football teammates want him to get his head out of his ass and focus on football. Star Muscle will keep you posted.

Maybe next time Tony Romo will think before he cheats!

Wow this is a GREAT monday morning! Alot has happened over the weekend. Here is your extra juicy edition of Star Muscle’s celebrity gossip emporium.

Everett Calls Troops “Wimps”
English actor Rupert Everett reportedly accused British soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan of being “whining wimps.”Acording to the U.K.’s Daily Mail, the 49-year-old gay actor — whose father is a retired major in the British Army — said the troops today “are always whining about the dangers of being killed. Oh my God, they are such wimps now!” he said. Oh boy this guy is absolutely screwed. You hate the war, never the soldiers. There is going to be a huge backlash from this statement, just wait. He must want to get his ass kicked (by the straight soldiers) or possibly raped (by the gay ones).

Rupert Everett Calls Troops Wimps

Mena Suvari Bald Head Copycat Crime:
Britney Spears wasn’t the only starlet to suddenly shave her head last year. Not long after the pop princess did the deed, actress Mena Suvari took to the clippers — and then had to explain that she wasn’t crazy.“It didn’t really hit me until I was getting ready to come back to L.A. and I was like ooh, just wait. I think I know what’s going to happen. The comparison is going to come up,” Suvari said. “It really sucks that people could look at me and the first thing they think is ‘Oh, Mena lost her mind.’” Next thing you know she will be adopting another black kid like Angelina and Madonna…it is the NEW CRAZE ! WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Jessica Alba Had A Baby Girl Chalupa:
Jessica Alba and husband Cash Warren have welcomed a baby girl.Honor Marie Warren was born June 7 in Los Angeles, her rep, Brad Cafarelli, confirmed for Starmuscle.com. Congrats Jessica, now get your ass into the gym.

VAN HALEN 2007-2008 North American Tour Highest Grossing in Band’s History
Nearly a million fans journeyed from all over the world to witness the landmark VAN HALEN tour, which kicked-off in September of 2007 in Charlotte, NC and wrapped up June 2, 2008 in Grand Rapids, MI. VAN HALEN, featuring Eddie Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Alex Van Halen and Wolfgang Van Halen, delivered their bombastic live assault performances to legions. Aena Concerts Sell Out Across the Country, Grossing More Than $93 Million…..maybe Dave can get a new hair weeve now.

Rapper Warren G Arrested For Weed:
Warren G has been arrested on a drug charge after police pulled over the car he was riding in. olice say the 35-year-old rapper was arrested early Sunday after being pulled over for a red light violation. Officer Karen Smith says marijuana was found in the vehicle.Big deal, give me a break.

Hulk Hogan’s Kid Gets An Odd Letter:
A former teacher accused of having sex with students sent a letter of support to the jailed son of Hulk Hogan, authorities said.Stephanie Ragusa, who is also in jail, sent the letter June 2 to 17-year-old Nick Bollea, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.The letter was intercepted by Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies after they recognized Ragusa’s name, the jail’s return address and her docket number on the envelope, authorities said. Bollea, who is serving an eight-month sentence on a charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury, was later given a copy of the letter. Wow I wonder if Nick had some inappropriate relations with this teacher. The polt thickens, people. Star Muscle will keep you posted.

We are just getting ready, that’s all….it still is a little premature, but it is DEFINATELY HAPPENING. Get ready for a fun ride. Normally Starmsucle.com does not get too political with the upcoming Presidential Election this November you can be assured that this election will be a Hollywood three-ring circus. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and you can bet there will be hundreds of celebrities coming out of the wood work to support their candidate. The only person that comes to mind that would support McCain is Charlton Heston, since he loves guns and being narrow minded and thank Gosh Mr. Heston is dead. It is going to be an Obama love fest. The minorities and youth will be voting in record numbers. Let’s just hope we get equal votes for the Presidency as we did for American Idol. First of all, will Barack Obama select Hillary Clinton as his Vice Presidential running mate? You can vote in our online poll, CLICK HERE. Also if you are in the mood you can vote in the Retards.com Presidential Election Poll, Barack Obama or McCain? Let’s rock the vote everyone! The way things are going nowadays, McCain may select Paris Hilton and Obama a Britney Spears. Expect the unexpected, and expect to be beaten over the head for the next 6 months with political issues. We’ll keep you posted. For the record, Barack Obama get’s Starmuscle’s Offical Endorsement (we believe in hope and inspiration)…that should be good for a hundred thousand votes in his favor. You are welcome Barack. Just please consider Star Muscle as your White House Press Secretary in January 09.

Barack Obama Next President Of The United States

Wow, what a great interview. It appears the the King of All Media and Rosie O’Donnell have buried the hacket and are actually extremely cordial to each other. Howard Stern has always been a gay rights activist…especially lesbians (haha) and did one of the best interviews on his Sirius Satellite radio show this year. Too bad, Rosie was on the phone because it would have been great to see it on the cable show, Howard TV. We learn in this interview the real story behind Rosie joining and leaving the view. There was a funny impersonation that she did of Jay Leno too, which had me LOL. Also that Rosie is worth over $100 million and never needs to work again. She talked of her being molested and therapy which was heartfelt and geniune. Howard then did the Fuck, Marry, Kill Game …. Rosie said, “Fuck Barbara Walters” (she was kidding)…then she said Angela Basset (it appears she has a crush on her). Howard mentioned Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Rosie said no way and would rather ‘mother them’ with help. The game techinically never finished. She seemed very open to Robin Quivers. Rosie admitted to watching porn frequently, but says she worries about the actresses’s lives. Rosie ODonnell said the most beautiful woman is Barbara Streisand and that no one can compare to her. She admitted to having masturbated to matthew McConaughey (which was a SHOCK) and definately Angelina Jolie alot. Rosie even might be doing a radio show on the Howard 100 station once a week. She seemed extremely interested and brought up the subject twice during the 25 minute call.

This was hands down a perfect interview. And at the end of the phone call, Rosie plugged the ‘True Colors’ tour with Cindy Lauper (she was actually on the show last week). Howard Stern has proven once again that no one else is a better interviewer. To put another person’s name next to his, in comparison, is an insult to his talent and legacy. If you don’t have a Sirius Satellite radio, then you don’t know what you are missing. I personally get 5 hours of entertainment a day at work for mere pennies. Starmuscle.com supports free speech and great comedy. Visit Sirius.com or Howard Stern’s Official Website at Howardstern.com. BabaBooey, BabaBooeyn and F- Ralph. Visit our Message Board at Retards.com

Rosie O’Donnell Interview On Howard Stern

Rosie O’Donnell Interview On Howard Stern

Goooood Morning Vietnam, and the rest of the insignificant world. Here’s some brief celebrity headlines which will get you caught up and ready for a new week week. Yeah baby! That’s what I am talking about my brotha from a diffrent motha! (Can you tell I have been catching up on my ebonics?) Anywho, here you go, enjoy you celebutard worangeshippers:

Angelina Jolie ‘Not Happy’ With Jack Black:
The “Kung Fu Panda” starlet was reportedly miffed at the recent Cannes Film Festival when co-star Jack Black let news about her twins slip. Um, why did you tell him then Jolie? Jack Black should do a Kung Fu kick to her gunt and force some preemies.

Legendary Designer Yves Saint Laurent Dies at 71:
Fashion icon Yves Saint Laur ent died at his Paris home at the age of 71, according to a longtime friend…..longtime friend? That’s all he was to him, you bitch. He gave you the best years of his life, and he was just a friend?

‘Sex and the City’ Rakes In 55.7M at Box Office:
The long-anticipated “Sex and the City” movie, staring Sarah Jessica Parker and her TV co-stars, raked in 55.7 million over the weekend, far exceeding Hollywood’s box office expectations. I predicted $112.00 nationwide. Seems like gay men and fat housewives really do go to the movies, who knew?

‘Lorenzo’s Oil’ Inspiration Dies at 30:
Lorenzo Odone, whose parents fought to save him from a nerve disease doctors said would kill him in childhood, died one day after his 30th birthday, his father said.

Father of Madonna’s Adopted Son May Challenge Custody Ruling:
Father of Madonna’s adopted son tells the Daily Mail he was promised regular visits. I would put three stamps on that kids head and stuff him in a mailbox. Mail him back to shitsville. Problem solved.

Starmuscle.com was ranked among the best 10 celebrity blogs:
According to Google and endless online polls, Star Muscle was among the top ten celebrity gossip blogs on the internet. We would like to thank all of you for your continued support and visits. We try our best to make lite of the celebutards out there and without you and countless dumb acts, this website could not be possible. Thank you.

Toni Braxton Live
Toni has ended her stint at Vegas’ Flamingo casino to focus on her heath. She was recently hospitalized in April for chest pains, and has decided to end Toni Braxton: Revealed for good. It has run at the Flamingo for two years.Braxton has been diagnosed with pericarditis which is a viral inflammation of the heart, in the past.