George Carlin has passed away. For his soul’s sake let’s hope he was right about God and religion, or he will be spending eternity in the firey pits of hell, getting ass raped by pineapples. He has died of heart failure (or was it the government). He was 71. Carlin was hailed for his irreverent social commentary, poignant observations of the absurdities of everyday life and language, and groundbreaking routines like “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television”. He released his first comedy album “Take-Offs and Put-Ons” in 1967. He made more than 80 major television appearances during 70s, including the Ed Sullivan Show and Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show.

Here’s some memorable quotes by the late great George Carlin:

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. [George Carlin, from the album “A Place For My Stuff”]

Religion convinced the world that there’s an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t want you to do or else you’ll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! …And he needs money! He’s all powerful, but he can’t handle money! [George Carlin, fromalbum “You Are All Diseased” (it can also be found in the book “Napalm and Silly Putty”.]

“Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.” — George Carlin.

StarMuscle.com loved and will continue to love George Carlin. As a fellow free speech activist, us and George Carlin like to point out the idiocies of society, and the world. Carlin was the William Shakespeare of comedy and brought the dick and fart jokes to a whole new level. He was often copied, bt never duplicated, although Dennis Miller tried.

We are predicting that George Carlin was killed, murdered by the US Government. This heart attack seems a little too convenient. Star Muscle demands an autopsy.

George Carlin Killed - George Carlin Murdered

R&B singer Janet Jackson is set to star in an upcoming reality TV series for MTV. The project will follow Jackson as she mentors a group of aspiring singers and dancers in search of the next pop superstar through unconventional means. Wow what an original idea! I can’t believe how up to the minute MTV is with its programming. They really have lost their edge. Executive producer Dave Broome says of the series, “It’s really about finding who’s the next Janet Jackson or Justin Timberlake or Usher. And we’ll find it from a pool of people who you wouldn’t typically find it from. We’ll go to Ymcas, church groups, local community centres and try to cast the show.” The winner of the series will receive a prize yet to be determined, although producers are entertaining the idea of relating it to Jackson’s upcoming world tour - which kicks off on 10 September . Jackson’s show signals a turnaround from her turbulent relationship with the network. She was rumoured to be blacklisted by the station after her infamous wardrobe malfunction during a performance with Justin Timberlake at the 2004 Superbowl halftime show the network produced. I would pay to watch a reality show of the MTV executives that have to deal with the pain in the ass diva, Janet Jackson.

NOW THAT’S A SHOW!

Janet Jackson MTV Reality Tv Show

Queen Latifah is suing the production company behind her The Perfect Holiday film, claiming she is yet to be paid for her appearance. The rapper-turned-actress’ lawyers have filed a lawsuit on her behalf in Manhattan, New York, claiming bosses at Perfect Christmas Productions breached her contract and owe her $275,000 (?137,500) for a cameo role in the comedy. Latifah, real name Dana Owens, co-produced the 2007 movie, which starred Terrence Howard and Gabrielle Union. I think that everyone that saw this steaming piece of dog shit or rented it, should sue Queen Latifah. If you saw this movie, then you would know they probably spent the $310,000 on feeding that fat heefer during the film.

The fat untalented Queen Latifah is suing the Perfect Holiday Movie.

Billy Bob Thornton has denied reports he dismissed Angelina Jolie’s relationship with Brad Pitt as a “high school phase”. The actor was quoted in an interview with AskMen.com, saying, “She is just going through a high school phase. You know, dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time.” But Thornton, who was married to the actress for three years, insists the quotes were completely fabricated. And the interview has since been removed from AskMen.com. In May Thornton congratulated Jolie and Pitt after learning of his ex’s pregnancy. He said, “I think she was always meant to be a mother in so many ways. I’m just so happy for her. I’m happy for the kids to have a mother like her and a father like him.” And in a recent interview Jolie echoed his well wishes, insisting she was “proud to be his (Thornton’s) wife” and “still loves him dearly”.

Billy Bob Thorton Is Jealous Of Brad Pitt

Britney Spears’ teenage sister Jamie Lynn welcomed daughter Maddie Briann into the world on Thursday . The retarded gene pool has just gotten a little more retarded. The 17-year-old gave birth via Caesarean section at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb, Mississippi YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAA. The baby girl weighed seven pounds, 11 ounces (3.5 kilograms). A source tells U.S. magazine People, “Just the family was there” at the time of the 9:30am birth, adding big sister Britney’s presence “made a big difference”. Maddie Briann is the first child for Spears and her 19-year-old fiance Casey Aldridge, a pipe layer (not crack pipe). The pair was engaged in March . The teen star stunned the Spears family when she announced her pregnancy news last year , at the age of 16. They had reportedly been delaying their wedding until after the birth of their child. Boy these Spears kids are fertile. To little Maddie, welcome to the shithole called Earth.

Jamie Lynn Spears Baby Pictures

Troubled actress Tatum O’Neal has kept her job on TV show Rescue Me, despite her recent drug arrest. The star was charged with seventh-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance after cops caught her exchanging money with a dealer three blocks from her New York home. She claimed the incident was her first lapse in sobriety after a longterm battle with drug addition. And bosses on the FX network program are keen to give her the chance to prove herself. O’Neal had already filmed two episodes for the fifth season - and co-creator Peter Tolan expects her character Maggie to return. He tells BuddyTV.com, “We want to bring her back, and I haven’t heard anything about why she wouldn’t be available to us. It’s a misdemeanour, so she’s not going to do time, and nobody has said to us we can’t insure her or anything like that. So I’m assuming she’s available to us and it’s ‘business as usual.’” Believe me when I tell you, Rescue Me NEEDS her for the ratings. That show blows chunks, they need all the help they can get. She’s ACTUALLY an Oscar winning actress, and that always helps.

Tatum Oneal Rescue Me

Steve Carell has denied rumours he will leave hit U.S. show The Office to concentrate on his burgeoning movie career. The former postman starred in the first three series of the Emmy Award-winning comedy and has since landed roles in big budget films including 2007’s Evan Almighty and this year’s Get Smart. The funnyman had been dogged by rumours he is set to leave the programme to take on more high profile lead roles. But he insists that he is definitely going to stick with The Office for the foreseeable future. He says, “All of the main cast are signed for three more (seasons). Beyond that, I have no idea.” If you have seen any of Steve’s shitty movies (aside from 40 year old virgin) they suck. He should stick to the TV show. IT IS THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON TV hands down. As rated by Starmuscle.com.

Is Steve Leaving The Office Tv Show?

Paris Hilton has laughed off rumours she will wed boyfriend Benji Madden in a joint ceremony with her best friend Nicole Richie and his twin brother Joel. I bet she planted this fake story to the press and it came full circle back to her. The socialite recently admitted she would love to start a family with the Good Charlotte rocker and eventually make her relationship with Benji official. But she insists any talk of a ceremony with Richie and her beau Joel is completely inaccurate. Speaking to Los Angeles DJ Ryan Seacrest, she says, “I’ve been hearing that rumour. But no, I think we both would want to have separate weddings.” However, she is looking forward to hitting the road with her pal and their respective boyfriends for the Good Charlotte tour. She adds, “It’s weird… we’re dating twins but it’s pretty perfect. We are all going on tour this summer, so I’m really excited about that.” I wonder if there’s any switcheroos going on in the bedroom with the twins.

Paris Hilton Wedding

Actor Alec Baldwin has urged visitors to New York to ditch the city’s famous horse-drawn carriages - and get drunk and take drugs instead. The native New Yorker claims the vices are as valid a “tradition” as the carriages, which he claims are cruel to the horses forced to pull tourists around Manhattan. Speaking at a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals event in the city on Wednesday , Baldwin told Wenn about the traditions he took part in during his youth in New York: “I walked through Union Square on my way to acting class and got offered loose joints. Drug dealing was a great tradition in this city. “There are other traditions people can get involved with in this city. When I was younger, I used to get a bottle of wine and get drunk under the Staten Island Ferry… so there are things like that you can do.” Shut your pie hole, Alec. Go yell at your daughter.

Animal Rights or Sticky Shoes? Alec Baldwin a pioneer for horses!

Irish actor Colin Farrell has sparked rumours he has secretly married his girlfriend Muireann McDonnell - after he was spotted wearing a ring on his wedding finger. The Phone Booth star has been dating the Irish student for a year and has now fuelled speculation that he has made the relationship official after he was recently photographed at Los Angeles’ Lax Airport sporting a wedding band. A source tells British newspaper Metro, “He didn’t seem to be hiding the ring. Maybe he has finally found the girl he wants to settle down with.’” Farrell was previously married to English actress Amelia Warner in 2001. The marriage last just four months. The 31-year-old star also has a four-year-old son, James, with ex-girlfriend Kim Bordenave. I still can’t stand this dark haired Brad Pitt rip off. His tough guy smoking bad ass attitude always rubs me the wrong way. I hope HE does get married and gets wiped out in the divorce.

I hate Colin Farrell

Blade star Wesley Snipes has landed a $200,000 (?100,000) legal bill from the U.S. government - seeking to recoup the cost of convicting him on tax evasion charges. Will Obama pardon Wesley? Snipes was handed a three-year sentence in April after officials found him guilty of failing to file his taxes for five years. The actor already owes almost $3 million (?1.5 million) in unpaid tax and now the government have filed a cost of prosecution bill in a bid to reclaim the money officials spent on bringing the case to court. The bill relates to the huge amount of administration work that went into sorting out Snipes’ financial records. Snipes will also have to pay the expense costs of the 13 key witnesses who had to testify at his trial. Snipes is currently free on bail while his defence team work to overturn his convictions. Another example of THE MAN sticking it to the BLACK MAN. This targetting is uncalled for and exremely racist.

The man sticking it the the very black Wesley Snipes

America’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan was not impressed by his Celebrity Apprentice castmate Stephen Baldwin (this was in an interview on the Howard Stern Show) - claiming the actor is a religious hypocrite. Morgan took part in property mogul Donald Trump’s reality TV show and was crowned the winner ahead of celebrities like country singer Trace Adkins, boxing champ Lennox Lewis, actor Vincent Pastore and Baldwin earlier this year . But Morgan admits he was sick of listening to Baldwin preach about his strong Christian values when he would also regale them with tales of prostitution. Speaking to U.S. DJ Howard Stern, he says, “Stephen spent half his time talking about religion and the other half talking about sleeping with hookers in Vegas. Make your mind up, mate.” The only bad thing about the Piers interview was that you could barely make out what he was saying since his lips never stopped kissing Howard’s ass. The King of All Media DID turn that potentially boring interview into radio gold.

Piers Morgan Howard Stern Interview