Celebrity Gossip That Steals Your Thunder

Sorry we haven’t been doing too much celebrity gossip for you lately. We are trying to focus more on our new funny message board. But here are some brief news headlines for you to check out before the weekend.

Problems in Paradise for Romo and Simpson:
A source close to the Romo camp has told Star Muscle that their relationship has hit a “rough patch” and might not be totally over just yet. Jessica is extremely confused because she doesn’t know what a “rough patch” atcually is. With her sister’s wedding coming up, heaven forbid if Ashlee will get all the atention. I can smell some thunder stealing here.

Angelina Jolie Confirmed: HAVING TWINS!
Angelina Jolie, pregnant with twins, has some secrets for staying serene at the Cannes Film Festival: get her partner, Brad Pitt, to baby-sit, and wear comfy shoes on the red carpet.”I think I have a very even partner right now, and I think we’re very balanced at home with our power-sharing,” she said. “But I think every woman in some way is a tigress or would like to be.” The question on Starmuscle.com’s lips is, “Are the twins going to be white or black?”. I can see Brad doing ‘Me, myself, and Irene 2 - The Twins’.

The Harrison Ford Ass-kissing Begins:
The actor who helped glamorize archaeology on the big screen is lending his star power to the Archaeological Institute of America. Hey retards it is just a friggin movie! Harrison Ford, who portrays the adventure-seeking Indiana Jones, has been elected to the Boston-based organization’s board of directors. The group promotes archaeological excavation, research, education and preservation worldwide. Why didn’t they give them this 15 years ago? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Wake me up when this borefest is done.

Shania Twain and Husband Break Up:
Country’s sexiest music singer Shania Twain and her husband Robert “Mutt” Lange have split after 14 years of marriage, Star Muscle reported on their Web site.”This is a private matter and there will be no further comment at this time,” her rep Jason Owen told People in a statement.

(Why tell us the story when she can belt out a few more #1’s about it and a SWEEEEEEEEEEET book deal?). I can see her on The View right now in my mind.

DMX Pleads Not Guilty:
Rapper DMX has pleaded not guilty plea to felony drug possession and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges.A judge entered the plea for the musician/actor whose real name is Earl Simmons at a brief court hearing in Phoenix on Thursday. Simmons was late for court, showing up in jeans and an oversized white T-shirt (which makes him look blacker). Starmuscle.com is a DMX fan. We likes his east coast flow and knowz dat he wud nebber hurtz no dizzos. I hear his dogs barking on his rap albums all the time and they seem happy.

Tonya Harding Book (no joke):
Tonya who? Exactly. This is 14 years too late. Hit the road you white trash piece of garbage. She should’ve been executed for espionage and treason for what she did to Nancy. Don’t buy her book. She mostly likely talked into a tape recorder and someone else wrote it. What a C-WORD!

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